Two Years, Do It Later

It has been a week, just one very short don't know what I did all week type of week but it is the next week type of week.



I recently had an insight in my life. I was sitting in my local McDonald's when all of a sudden I find a newspaper, in McDonald's. Someone thought it would be fun to joke about bullshit horoscope section. For me it was a bit more serious, so deep.

Just some back story to put the proceeding story make more sense:
So lately, and not just lately, but the most recent moment this has happened to me. This was the night before my last exam for the year. Physics. It was the night before/morning of the day of the exam and I simply could not study for the life of me. I knew that the exam was just going to be terrible. I was about to fail my second year in-a-row. Sleep time arrived and lying in bed. I just wanted to sleep and wake up and it will be two years earlier but I also wake up with the knowledge I have right then and not fail myself. And I tried to believe that, I wanted to believe it could happen, I actually thought that if I believed it enough it would happen.

So can you guess what the horoscope said ?

(Paraphrasing here but this is what I read anyway)
"Need to take a step back and relax. Accept the last two years of my life were worth living"

This was crazy to me because it was under my star sign(Aquarius). I just felt like it spoke directly to me. I like to think I do accept that the last two years of my life were worth living. These have been a good two years of experiences I would not otherwise have if I did not take two different paths at university life. There is so much knowledge I am grateful for.
I would not be exactly where I am if I did not do exactly what I have done for the past two years.

I think of the future, I don't like thinking about what I am going to do in the future. When I do I think about all my regrets of the past two years. Everything I would like to take back. Everything I would like to just do again, start over fresh.
But I can't. And it terrifies me. Not knowing what the future has in store for me. What purpose my life has.
I am not going to be an Architect.
I am probably not going to be an Engineer.
I do have a large student loan that took me nowhere.

The experiences of the last two years I would never take back. At the same time I would have like to passed with A+'s but I am just not that person. Even if I want to be. Not right then anyway.

I don't know where I am going, where the future is leading me.

For now I will just take a step back. Relax. Accept the last two years of my life were well worth the costs and trials.

Holiweek One, New Horizons

I look to the future.

I look to the future and see a blank canvas.

I look to the future and see a world of possibilities.

There is a fine line.

There is a fine line that I walk on.

There is a fine line that breaks, it fails.

A new direction.

A new direction of hopefulness.

A new direction that will drive me to somewhere I'd like to be.

I can't miss it.

I can't miss it or else I may never see another.

I can't miss it or today may be the last day for it.

The bridge.

The bridge I walk is simple.

The bridge will take me there.

I just have to see it.

I just have to see it with eyes wide open.

I just have to see it with my full attention.

Days and nights will pass.

Days and nights will pass before it comes.

Days and nights will pass and the world may fail me.

Don't relax.

Don't relax for one moment.

Don't relax for standing against the current.

A new day is coming.

A new day is coming so look up towards the hills.

A new day is coming so look up towards the new horizon.

VanSanOuttaHere

Under the Bridge, Like Water

Another week gone by.

Another week of getting nothing done at all. Not a single progress made.
I feel like I'm under a bridge, trolling around, but I can't cross the bridge if I can't come out on top of it.

 

 

To cross the bridge would be to be on top of the bridge where I can see where I'm heading.

 

 

But all you can see from underneath is what is stopping you, not where you want to go.

 

 

You can't cross a bridge if you are not on top of it. On top of the bridge is a path, a path above all obstacles. The path lets you get to the other side.

 

 

To get to the other side means I must come out from under the bridge and just go. Go across the bridge, it might be a hard way to climb this far under the bridge.

 

 

But there is always a way through everything. I just need to let it flow, if it doesn't flow I need to make it flow, work it.

There is a bridge ahead, I just have to make sure I'm on the right one or it's over.

It's Friday, Making More or Less Sense

It has been a long week, but I made it to Friday, and now I must survive the weekend as well. All in all, I do not want to screw up with my uni work again. No mucking around.

Friday, yeah, this seems like much better idea than putting my blogs on a Monday.

Anyway, I haven't done a shoot for awhile, last week Wednesday was the last time I went out for a trip with camera. Although this was the first time in a group.

 

So yeah, just a walk as usual, Makata is where this place is. It's just a place not too far from the city actually.

This is also the first time I used the wide angle lens to do landscape shots. It turned out quite nice for the occasion.

The shapes of the clouds were a bit interesting, it was quite windy out here.
It felt weird that this place existed, I have never seen this place before and it isn't that far from the city.

Really did a bad job editing photos on this shoot. I did it on my laptop and that screen is horrible in every possible way. The color, exposure, brightness. It isn't bad to use, even view photos, but when it comes to editing photos it just doesn't work. You can never "know" how your photo is going to look on other screens. The most part, the photos did turn out fine with anticipated-adjustments.

 

Not the type of beach you would like to swim in, it is nice for photos though.

And then landscape to backdrop without too much man made things. No city, just green and blue then the rocks.

Was not allowed to take pets past this point. I don't have pets, but some people will miss out what is up here.

I thought about this when I was walking up, not too keen on walking up the hill.

It was worth it though, the view was quite good from up there. Got some cool shots.

Some of the paths got really small though. A long drop if you were to step too much left or too much right. With the addition of wind it was not a safe feeling path. I did walk down to that little patch, the path went on a bit after that, but i couldn't see where it went it all. Plus the wind I was not keen on continuing. Walking back was actually scary, while the walk out I did pretty relaxed.

There wasn't too much to take photos of, considering that mostly what I wanted to do was wide angle landscape shots.

Even though my lens is already wide angle, I like using it to make a real nice panorama. The 360 panoramas are really weird cause they don't make sense. The left and the right are on the same straight line but it make it look like a curved bay.

This shot is just relaxing. It is not way too panorama that it doesn't make sense. It is wide enough that it gives a more fish-eye type of field-of-view. Although this is longer than 180 degrees.

Makata was pretty cool, it would make for epic sunset shots. Although I would not like to come here by myself at night. One of the main reasons I don't feel like I want to go out to the middle of nowhere to do sunset and sunrise. You have to be alone during the night.

I'd probably enjoy more group photography shoots.

Also, it is now 1:34 AM Saturday, I started the blog on Friday so it is still a Friday blog.

Later

Past Future, Stop and Go

The theme... well there is not theme here. I didn't really think about it when I was grabbing random old photos to chuck together into a blog. That would have actually made this blog twenty times more effective.

Now this is just a collection of random photos without any meaning.

Well really as the title suggests this is like the past but it is also the future, as in things don't really change as much as you think they do. Change is change until it is no longer change. That is the theme of this post.

Remember that saying "life starts at a train station". Well this post starts with a train station.

A campus.

This is the old Architecture and Design site. Well it is still there and probably looks the same. It was always so busy.

A camera.

...in the old gym, but it is still basically the same. Good old tape to keep the camera stable on the tripod.

A car.

Because I took a photo of it, now it is here. I remember I was driving up and down my driveway just randomly doing slow shutter speed stuff.

A jelly.

This is actually part of my corn project thing I done for photography class. The jelly part didn't go so well so I scraped it. I really didn't know what I was doing with this shoot, I just knew I had to do something to show at the tutorial(which I didn't go to but all was good but not good). There isn't any corn in this though.

A view.

This coastline is pretty cool. The beach. This day I did actually go for a long run(for me anyway) along the beach. That was pretty exciting because I hadn't run on a beach before. That would also mean this is around the time I went for runs like three times a week. I can only imagine how fit I would be if I kept that up til' now.

Another view.

This is Kilbirnie, it is where the airport is. There is also some roads and stuff. The ASB sports thing, fields, schools, and other stuff. It is from my camera so it is now here.

A flame.

Because sometimes you just gotta let it burn.

A drink.

Because sometimes you just need a drink,

A cow(s).

Because life would be so different without them. Just think about it, what if you lived in a country that didn't have cows or any cow products. It probably isn't a good thought when looking at the photo. They look so peaceful sort of. They just look bored out of their mind.

A light.

Lights are cool.

A cake.

Because it is someones birthday somewhere and everyone should have a cake. Not this one cause it doesn't look great.

A catch.

Because we all like to catch stuff. This bird has got some bread.

A body of water.

Because water is good for you. I personally wouldn't drink sea water though.

A contact.

Get a grip.

A train.

Life starts and ends with the same thing... Trains. This is the end. BB

....